put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
