As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
