Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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