Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Randomize
