Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
