The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
