babies were throwing up all over the place
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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