Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
