They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
