I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize