When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
