i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
worst night to have a conscience
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
