You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
