I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
