I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
