I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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