If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
