at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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