she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
