i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
