He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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