There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
