Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
