Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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