You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
