Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
