So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize