her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
