Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
