How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
