I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Fuck appropriateness.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
A+ Viking dick
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