So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
