my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
