hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
