i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm always down for nudity.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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