I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
