I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
