Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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