Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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