Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
