Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
