2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
