Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
either way he was missing a nipple.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
