i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
