I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
