I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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