You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
