Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
