is your mom at the bar?
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
