Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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