so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Im part way to drunk.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize