These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
