yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Randomize
