You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
