Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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