my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
