C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Barsexuality is the new black.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
