Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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