Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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