You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
