I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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