Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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