my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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