walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
