Where did you get a picture of my penis
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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