How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
