Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
