WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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