yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
