this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
